Looking back I shared a very small part of my story. I know my situation isn’t typical, and yet, in some way, everyone has their own journey that leads them to their people.
I remember one Thanksgiving in my 20s, 30-plus people packed into one house, full of noise, laughter, conversation, and love. But even in that warmth, something tugged at me. The only biological relative I had in that room was my father. I was surrounded by people I called grandma, cousin, aunt, uncle… but deep down, I still questioned where I truly fit in. Why couldn’t my mind fully accept the love that was right in front of me?
People often say, “blood is thicker than water,” but for me, that’s never been true. It can’t be true. My life has shown me that blood doesn’t define family… love does. Loyalty does. Showing up, again and again, without being asked… that’s what makes someone family.
Now, standing in the middle of life, trying to make sense of it all, I’ve come to realize that my family is both those people at that Thanksgiving table and another circle… one that’s just as important. We spend weekends together, take week-long vacations, celebrate birthdays, show up for school events, hospital visits, hard conversations, and spontaneous dinners. Are they biological? No. But they’re my tribe.
We don’t share DNA, but I’d do anything for them… and they’ve done everything for me. They’ve taught me what unconditional family truly means.
Over 20 years, we’ve built something unshakable… a bond rooted in love, not obligation. We’ve shared laughter, milestones, holidays, heartbreaks, disagreements, forgiveness, and everything in between. It’s built over time; the bones and structure of this family were put together with care and intention.
These people have helped raise my children, and it’s crazy to believe, they helped mold and shape me. They encouraged me to keep going, to stick to the list, to place one more bet, to walk away, to be my safe place when my outside world was falling apart. They’ve been my sounding board, my cheerleader, my tough-love-truth, tellers… and we all know I NEEDED TO HEAR IT. They have asked “if I am crying” when I wanted to hide it. We have weathered life together. My kids have 3 extra aunts, 3 extra uncles, multiple cousins, and a set of grandparents that love beyond DNA. For me, when I say family, I do not mean who I came from, I mean who comes with me, those who chose me and I have chosen.